It finally happened...its been a year...definatley feels longer. A year of distance and heartache. How I felt a year ago versus how I feel right now are miles apart.
I can say it without flinching or crossing my toes. I'm Over Him. He doesn't cross my mind as much anymore (I'm not going to deny and say never) but its not the same, its not with longing anymore.
I feel like I can finally go and out and date...no longer thinking in my mind but wait, what if things with us change. And that was kind of how I knew I reached this point the idea of dating other people is no longer repulsive.
I asked for a sign that if it was meant to be that it become evident. And despite my hope that there wouldn't be. It was indeed.
And that was my massive turning point. Que Sera.
Obviously in this instance, to be was certainly NOT.
But it did give my the clarity to push him from my mind and finally actually accept it. I mean really accept it.
It may be with slight defeat. I have come to terms with the fact that me and him will never happen. He was pure infatuation and soo incredibly unhealthy. The pain he put me through was indescribable. Which is just another nail to the haystack of reasons it was never a good idea.
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