I want to turn the last page, yet some how I've been lingering on the last paragraph for longer than I'd like to admit. I tend to look over the last few pages and then seem to forgot the horrible chapters in seconds.
I want to turn the final page and then burn the book or add it to the box that you keep to look over one day when it's nothing but it a distant memory. But I haven't yet.....although I can honestly say I have never wanted it to be over as much as I do right now.
The unknown, the pain, the unanswered questions, the things unsaid and the stuff that is...all play games on your heart.
The months of silence followed by hours of honesty and depth....it feels like there is no boundaries when we talk, I hate that! With this passed weeks events and seeing him, he elevated my worries in seconds in a way that no other person has been able to and for some reason, I was more honest with him about the way I was feeling about things, than I have been with my closest friends. It may be 'cose I know I won't hear from him anytime soon...but lets be real, I wish that we were in greater contact.
AARRHHHHH I don't know......unanswered questions that's all I have....Confusion. So so soo confused, I don't know. He is a different person in real life to the way he messages.
I leave a conversation like wooww he surprises me in ways I never would have thought. Then we message and he is distant and reserved = my confusion.
I might come back to this but that's all I have for right now.......this chapter hasn't ended yet, despite my tendency to try and bury the book, somehow it keeps reopening to the very same page...whats lies beyond that page I do not know. Does it end or a new chapter begins??
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